You seek attention, don’t you? The consensus is a validating force that feeds your narcissistic personality, isn’t it? Sharing your pictures of folly, food, substances and your idea of fun with snark, snide and sometimes clever remarks is a liberating feeling. It's freedom from what sets your emotions and passions in overdrive, doesn’t it? Don't you feel the topic of discussion should be your ever so interesting life? Shouldn't the lessons you’ve learned, the laughs you want to share or the brain fart of the day be uploaded for all your friends to "like" You’re so clever; you express yourself so well. I understand exactly what you mean. It’s so smart, relevant and funny. They’ll laugh their way into a side-cramping stupor. You will really put something on their minds. Finally something worth a thousand comments from the Facebook community, you did it! Its gonna go viral! You'll make YouTube and then the nightly news. That caption of you looking so silly will become the new stamp of your persona; better yet you'll set it as your "profile" picture to be seen millions of times again and again next to your ever so clever check-in's and status updates. You’re the newest sensation; the next FB heavyweight with friends in the thousands because you have added every friend request that ever showed up at your in-box.
You are so humble. You just told them “the way it is” if you didn’t they’d never know. Why don’t they all just stop philosophizing and let you handle the deep thinking. As long as you can delete unflattering comments, filter out the unwanted replies, censor the unbiased and thought provoked opinions your greatness will never be tarnished. Your castrato eunuch court will continue to feed the insatiable appetite of your ego. This is why you update your status on Facebook daily, to set the stage for your encore performance. You put on your veil of anonymity, your eyes shaded by the flash of your own greatness, you speak the beautiful language of acronyms...LOL, LMAO, OMG and TTYL, and your identity is hidden by that clever pseudonym. Yes…yes…yes, that's why you Facebook ‘cause if you didn’t there would be nothing worthy of the most precious time…the "Face" time we spend sharing our lives with each other in reality.
Yours truly,
The screen you gaze into everyday.